It's hilarious when they scream
Moustache : UNTRUSTWORTHY
Kitten : TRUSTWORTHY
Smile : TRUSTWORTHY
Smile + Kitten : UNTRUSTWORTHY
Kitten + Moustache : PENDING (MORE DATA NEEDED)
Screaming : ALERT
Soft whispering : TRUSTWORTHY
Casual speech : TRUSTWORTHY
Muffled voice : REMOVE PERSON FROM BAG
Gunfire : CLEAR BEHAVIOUR CACHE, INITIATE CODENAME N.I.N.J.A SEQUENCE
end behaviour subroutines
Surroundings unfamiliar, and all checks on coordinates return as impossible values. Notion proposed: explore. Notion accepted. 120 meters north of starting point  is an archway. Initial analysis returns: 50 meters in height, 40 meters in width. No distinguishng features. There is spraypaint over the curve of the arch. Tall letters, bold, with a strikethrough. The word painted is "MURMUR." Reason for the painting: indeterminate. Notion proposed: explore surrounding area. Notion accepted.
The remains of a city lay around the archway. It is the only remaining structure with any integrity remaining. All else is rubble and dust. Note: east of archway is a park. Despite the heavy damage the surrounding area has suffered, park appears to be untouched. Notion proposed: explore. Notion accepted. Park is devoid of wildlife, only plantlife remains. In the center of the park  is a fountain. In the fountain is a statue; full-bodied, female, angelic features.
Initial analysis returns: statue is incapable of animation. No mechanics are inside. Contrary to analysis, statue's head turns. Its mouth opens and