Moustache : UNTRUSTWORTHY
Kitten : TRUSTWORTHY
Smile : TRUSTWORTHY
Smile + Kitten : UNTRUSTWORTHY
Kitten + Moustache : PENDING (MORE DATA NEEDED)
Screaming : ALERT
Soft whispering : TRUSTWORTHY
Casual speech : TRUSTWORTHY
Muffled voice : REMOVE PERSON FROM BAG
Gunfire : CLEAR BEHAVIOUR CACHE, INITIATE CODENAME N.I.N.J.A SEQUENCE
end behaviour subroutines
I'm sorry dear, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Surroundings unfamiliar, and all checks on coordinates return as impossible values. Notion proposed: explore. Notion accepted. 120 meters north of starting point  is an archway. Initial analysis returns: 50 meters in height, 40 meters in width. No distinguishng features. There is spraypaint over the curve of the arch. Tall letters, bold, with a strikethrough. The word painted is "THIS IS ALL IN YOUR BIG, TIN HEAD." Reason for the painting: indeterminate. Notion proposed: explore surrounding area. Notion accepted.
The remains of a city lay around the archway. It is the only remaining structure with any integrity remaining. All else is rubble and dust. Note: east of archway is a park. Despite the heavy damage the surrounding area has suffered, park appears to be untouched. Notion proposed: explore. Notion accepted. Park is devoid of wildlife, only plantlife remains. In the center of the park  is a fountain. In the fountain is a statue; full-bodied, female, angelic features.
Initial analysis returns: statue is incapable of animation. No mechanics are inside. Contrary to analysis, statue's head turns. Its mouth opens and it speaks Machination, you were made with purpose in mind
construct of Man, have you forgotten yourself?